Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
