Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
