the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
