covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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