brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
