Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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