dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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