We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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