Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
