new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
