are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
