a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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