hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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