I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
