Did you just see the Batmobile???
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
