GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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