is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
