no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
