Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
