i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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