ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He felt like a one man threesome
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
