They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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