I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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