Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
