I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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