you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
