I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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