We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No subtext here. People are naked.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
