Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
