this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
