So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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