But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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