mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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