We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
