That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
