at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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