we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Randomize
