There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
