There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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