dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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