goodnight i made you a song goodbye
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
