we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize