I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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