the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
