this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
we made out on top of his cat.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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