Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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