Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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