i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
