Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Randomize
