i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My life is pants optional.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
