I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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