i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
