She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
