woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
