he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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