Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
