I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
