just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just google imaged poop.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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