Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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