What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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