All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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