shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
