glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
