margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
