I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
