No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
