she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
